Chi
Kung Culture Society of TAIPEI
How can you live with your family when the family dynamics are dysfunctional? How can your living with them at such a time help the family members?
A dysfunctional family needs to have help from within the family. There is dysfunction because you are comparing it to a traditional family. All this is necessary is to clean up the dynamics.
In Western families (that is, not in Asian families), the family attitude is different. In a Western family, the parent・s relationship is more independent and there is more respect between family members. Consequently, there typically is better interaction between members of the same family than there is in Asian families.
It・s important to eliminate having a thankful mind, of keeping informal records of which family member has helped another family member. In this way, there is not way for a hate mind (that is, the opposite of a thankful mind) to exist. As a result, there will be no expectations within the family and a balance can be achieved.
Families usually have a treasure trove of memories involving the members of the family. If we are externally focused, these memories become like armor to protect us from our individual life experience. When we become internally focused (that is, through our continual practice of chikung), we don・t need to keep these memories. When we want or expect something of others, then we are externally focused.
Families are just another illusion in our life. If we can get rid of our ego and the constraints of social morality, then we will have true freedom. If you blame other people in your family for your problems, then you are not ：being a person；. It doesn・t matter if others have deceived you.